Here it is, episode 2 of the two greatest cops to ever cop it up (cock it up...it's a pun, you see...)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
2009 - The Year That Was.....
The year got off to a somewhat dull and predictable beginning, arriving as expected on January 1 as the clock struck 12. The lack of surprises didn't end there, as countless Australian's consumed alcohol, marveled at sparkly things in the sky, consumed alcohol, bumped into things, consumed alcohol, became progressively violent and resentful towards their children, consumed alcohol, projectile vomited, consumed alcohol and collectively uttered the phrase "get this fucking Auld Lang Syne bullshit off and put on some fucking Whitesnake ya poofta's".
2009 was a go-go. The last of the unwelcome guests were bundled into cabs in the early hours of New Years Day where they engaged in all manner of intellectual conversations with their Taxi drivers. Covering issues such as climate change, the war in iraq, the global economic crisis and whether or not there was any chance of the soiling fee being wavered. There wasn't.
The year got off to a controversial start, with 72 year old AFL legend, Ron Barassi being bashed on the streets of Melbourne as he jumped to the aid of a woman in need. It was red faces all round when it was later revealed that the 'woman' in question was in-fact Sam Newman in another hilarious drag queen stunt. When asked for a comment on the incident, Trevor Marmalade at the bar was speechless as his copy of Maurie Fields Dinkum Aussie Joke Book wasn't at arms length.
Trivial stories like Israel moving in on Gaza and the death of another Aussie soldier were overshadowed by Michael Clarke's sensational knock of 138 against South Africa in the Sydney test. The SCG was awash with a sea of pink as Glen Mcgrath raised money and awareness for his charity, The Carson Kressley Foundation.
And so, as we look back on 2009 and try to make sense of it all, we realize that not only have we matured as a nation, but we've also learnt some valuable lessons;
- Soiling is a nice way of saying 'spewing ya guts up'.
- i almost went a whole blog without mentioning Paris Hilton.
- i'm a big softy at heart (please donate to the Jane Mcgrath Foundation. If i knew how to, i'd place a link here)
- And finally, don't attempt 'year in review' type blogs on January 5.
With love,
Sam.
2009 was a go-go. The last of the unwelcome guests were bundled into cabs in the early hours of New Years Day where they engaged in all manner of intellectual conversations with their Taxi drivers. Covering issues such as climate change, the war in iraq, the global economic crisis and whether or not there was any chance of the soiling fee being wavered. There wasn't.
The year got off to a controversial start, with 72 year old AFL legend, Ron Barassi being bashed on the streets of Melbourne as he jumped to the aid of a woman in need. It was red faces all round when it was later revealed that the 'woman' in question was in-fact Sam Newman in another hilarious drag queen stunt. When asked for a comment on the incident, Trevor Marmalade at the bar was speechless as his copy of Maurie Fields Dinkum Aussie Joke Book wasn't at arms length.
Trivial stories like Israel moving in on Gaza and the death of another Aussie soldier were overshadowed by Michael Clarke's sensational knock of 138 against South Africa in the Sydney test. The SCG was awash with a sea of pink as Glen Mcgrath raised money and awareness for his charity, The Carson Kressley Foundation.
And so, as we look back on 2009 and try to make sense of it all, we realize that not only have we matured as a nation, but we've also learnt some valuable lessons;
- Soiling is a nice way of saying 'spewing ya guts up'.
- i almost went a whole blog without mentioning Paris Hilton.
- i'm a big softy at heart (please donate to the Jane Mcgrath Foundation. If i knew how to, i'd place a link here)
- And finally, don't attempt 'year in review' type blogs on January 5.
With love,
Sam.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Not one of ours, but awesome none the less
Watch this and I dare you not to be humming it all day...
From "Snuff Box", by Rich Fulcher and Matt Berry
From "Snuff Box", by Rich Fulcher and Matt Berry
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Lumswick and Stodgewater - Episode 1 (with exclusive commentary)
Posted by Ben R.
Here it is, Episode 1 of the most fantastic awesome show that ever awesomed; Lumswick and Stodgewater.
Watch the episode, then read below for 'exclusive' comment(ary).
- The Lumswick and Stodgewater here are not the original Lumswick and Stodgewater. They appear in an episode of "The Chief", which probably never should have been made. The original two cops did not reprise their roles for 2 reasons - 1, they couldn't act and 2, These two are prettier.
- You will notice in this episode, and in the next few, one of the cops always had his gun in his hand. I thought it was a nice little touch to play up their stupidity, but was informed that I was a "freaking idiot", so the gag was dropped.
- I am much fatter now.
- Isn't the music awesome. That's an official Lums and Stodge theme, composed specially for us. Yeah, that's the type of power we have - midi power.
- In the opening credits, one of the actor's name is Derreck St Germain. 2 of the writers argued for over 20 minutes as to whether Germain should have an 'e' on the end or not. Yup, these were the kind of hard hitting decision we had to make, and yell about, daily.
- This was originally one episode (I just misspelled episode, writing epidose instead, and have decided that this is a much cooler sounding word. So from now on, all Lumswick and Stodgewater episodes are to be referred as Epidose), but we decided to split it in two as it ran too long for the average drunk down at the local bar. As such, you will notice many more jokes in the second part.
- That head falling off is actually a watermelon with a wig and a hat on. Who'd of thunk it?! That was also one take, as the watermelon cost us $11. Yup, $11 for a piece of readily available fruit. Incidentaly, this was the most money spent on any aspect of the show throughout the entire 2 series.
- Some more special effects secrets for you here guys; all those Ninjas are the same person. I'll give you a minute to retrieve your socks which were just blown off.
Well, that's it for this epidose. Come back sometime in the near future for more comments on the cop show that took over the world with a mind control device, only to have it foiled and all knowledge erased from your brains, Lumswick and Stodgewater.
Here it is, Episode 1 of the most fantastic awesome show that ever awesomed; Lumswick and Stodgewater.
Watch the episode, then read below for 'exclusive' comment(ary).
- The Lumswick and Stodgewater here are not the original Lumswick and Stodgewater. They appear in an episode of "The Chief", which probably never should have been made. The original two cops did not reprise their roles for 2 reasons - 1, they couldn't act and 2, These two are prettier.
- You will notice in this episode, and in the next few, one of the cops always had his gun in his hand. I thought it was a nice little touch to play up their stupidity, but was informed that I was a "freaking idiot", so the gag was dropped.
- I am much fatter now.
- Isn't the music awesome. That's an official Lums and Stodge theme, composed specially for us. Yeah, that's the type of power we have - midi power.
- In the opening credits, one of the actor's name is Derreck St Germain. 2 of the writers argued for over 20 minutes as to whether Germain should have an 'e' on the end or not. Yup, these were the kind of hard hitting decision we had to make, and yell about, daily.
- This was originally one episode (I just misspelled episode, writing epidose instead, and have decided that this is a much cooler sounding word. So from now on, all Lumswick and Stodgewater episodes are to be referred as Epidose), but we decided to split it in two as it ran too long for the average drunk down at the local bar. As such, you will notice many more jokes in the second part.
- That head falling off is actually a watermelon with a wig and a hat on. Who'd of thunk it?! That was also one take, as the watermelon cost us $11. Yup, $11 for a piece of readily available fruit. Incidentaly, this was the most money spent on any aspect of the show throughout the entire 2 series.
- Some more special effects secrets for you here guys; all those Ninjas are the same person. I'll give you a minute to retrieve your socks which were just blown off.
Well, that's it for this epidose. Come back sometime in the near future for more comments on the cop show that took over the world with a mind control device, only to have it foiled and all knowledge erased from your brains, Lumswick and Stodgewater.
Monday, December 29, 2008
You know what really bugs me?
Posted by Ben R.
People. People bug me. That's ok though, I can be tolerant. I can mostly deal with the various negatives that come with being a part of a society. There is one group of people, however, who really need a good telling off. These people, are old people.
These people, many of them living well over 70 years, have survived wars, depressions and Rick Astley. They have experienced highs and lows that we have not, and have seen more of life than some of us ever will. Then why is it, after seeing and experiencing what a good 70 decades of what this planet has to offer, are they obsessed with their gardens?
Sure, people want their gardens to look good, but when your biggest thrill is receiving a permit for a SECOND green waste bin, you know that your time is almost up; and who the hell goes through TWO GREEN BINS worth of plant waste every fortnight? What the hell are these old people growing in their back gardens? Vines imbued with a super serum, needing to be trimmed less they take over the world?
It's not only the second green bin permits, it's the time and effort that is put into their gardens. These people are old, and yet they're out in the street, sweeping the footpath of the entire neighbourhood, or scrubbing the birdbath free of pigeon poo, when they should be relaxing. Sitting back with a nice cup of tea, reminiscing about the 'good ol' days' (apparently one of the first things to go as you age is your grammar).
What really, really gets me, is the excuses made by some of these elderly citizens in order to justify them breaking the water restrictions, in order to keep their pampered poarches alive. I kid you not, this is one of the excuses I have heard:
"I refuse to let my garden die. If I don't keep it alive, there won't be any trees left for the next generation".
You know what I think the next generation would really appreciate being left for them: WATER!
It's not only their obsessive gardening that gets to me, but their blatant refusal to update their technology. Next time you walk into an old person's house, have a look around. Guaranteed their most up-to-date equipment is from the 1980's. Why is this? Do they think that by having outdated technology, they are somehow staying stagnant in time, not aging? Do they think that by having older appliances they will be spared from the war that results from the eventual rise of the machines? Even if they do, what chance does humanity got? They can't reproduce, their parts are all shrivelled up.
At least the human race will be remembered for having nice gardens though.
People. People bug me. That's ok though, I can be tolerant. I can mostly deal with the various negatives that come with being a part of a society. There is one group of people, however, who really need a good telling off. These people, are old people.
These people, many of them living well over 70 years, have survived wars, depressions and Rick Astley. They have experienced highs and lows that we have not, and have seen more of life than some of us ever will. Then why is it, after seeing and experiencing what a good 70 decades of what this planet has to offer, are they obsessed with their gardens?
Sure, people want their gardens to look good, but when your biggest thrill is receiving a permit for a SECOND green waste bin, you know that your time is almost up; and who the hell goes through TWO GREEN BINS worth of plant waste every fortnight? What the hell are these old people growing in their back gardens? Vines imbued with a super serum, needing to be trimmed less they take over the world?
It's not only the second green bin permits, it's the time and effort that is put into their gardens. These people are old, and yet they're out in the street, sweeping the footpath of the entire neighbourhood, or scrubbing the birdbath free of pigeon poo, when they should be relaxing. Sitting back with a nice cup of tea, reminiscing about the 'good ol' days' (apparently one of the first things to go as you age is your grammar).
What really, really gets me, is the excuses made by some of these elderly citizens in order to justify them breaking the water restrictions, in order to keep their pampered poarches alive. I kid you not, this is one of the excuses I have heard:
"I refuse to let my garden die. If I don't keep it alive, there won't be any trees left for the next generation".
You know what I think the next generation would really appreciate being left for them: WATER!
It's not only their obsessive gardening that gets to me, but their blatant refusal to update their technology. Next time you walk into an old person's house, have a look around. Guaranteed their most up-to-date equipment is from the 1980's. Why is this? Do they think that by having outdated technology, they are somehow staying stagnant in time, not aging? Do they think that by having older appliances they will be spared from the war that results from the eventual rise of the machines? Even if they do, what chance does humanity got? They can't reproduce, their parts are all shrivelled up.
At least the human race will be remembered for having nice gardens though.
Begin with the Classics
Quater of a million people can't be wrong. The 'classic'* Darth Vader Rap from Season 2 of The Single Bed is a hit! Or the biggest waste of internet space ever....even more so than that "leave Brittney alone" dude.
You decide!
*not a classic
You decide!
*not a classic
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